After I had read this quote, its truth shot right through me. I vividly remember “acting as if I was listening”, while in fact I was consumed by the process and pressure of coming up with something “profound” to say! I did this in class, with friends, and in business. It was second nature. My ego had run amuck. Learning was not a priority and understanding was irrelevant. It was all about my ability to spout some seemingly appropriate or even inspiring words of wisdom. It was an endless cycle of lose lose!

A friend recently sent me a haunting version of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Sound of Silence”. The words, “People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening…” struck a chord. Although it was difficult for me to believe, I was part of creating that cycle of not speaking and not listening. One of the fringe benefits of hitting bottom emotionally was the humility that came with that process. I truly felt like I had nothing to say that would change or contribute to the world so I began listening. Listening to understand, listening to grow, listening to change.

While in that darkness, I came to realize that I didn’t need any sage advice and I didn’t need any special instructions. Those inspired words were not going to take me where I needed to be. I needed to speak from my heart, and from within my truth, so that I could just put “it” out there amidst my shame and guilt. It was not about anyone hearing it and saying something to make me feel better. It was about letting those words and feelings rush from deep within me to finally see the light of day. That was where the relief began.

Today, as I guide clients through their troubled waters, (sorry…had to), what is important to their healing, is connecting with them through listening to understand, NOT to make a reply. This is my calling. I am here to break the sound of silence.