There are few tests that are potentially more dangerous than to induce your own drowning to see who cares enough to rescue you.

This is a very familiar story in my childhood. Rather than showing up as their best self, I witnessed this constant isolation and self-victimization cycle, month after month, waiting for loved ones to prove themselves by this artificial and sadistic standard.

Even as a child, I had the notion that you would attract more bees with honey than a destructive bee trap. I think that is why I am repelled by the drama queens that “vant to be alllooonnnne” only to snap when everyone honors their wishes.

I have worked diligently to be authentic. If I want attention, I let that be known. If I want isolation, you will know that too. What you see, (and I am not saying it is always pretty), is what you get.

This is how I chose to live based upon seeing the tormented eyes of those who would do anything to make the love of their life happy, but could not climb high enough or fast enough for their satisfaction.

Daily, I work to take back the reigns of control over my happiness because the only hoops that are to be jumped through are by me for me. That is what I can control. I am convinced that living a life of joy and satisfaction will attract or maintain people in my life that will not waste time and energy testing me by building walls for me to tear down so they can be happy!